Halfway through the 2023 season

It's been a while since I had time to blog here, sorry about that, but there's been way too much going on with work, football, refereeing, and everything around it. However, now I thought I'd share some thoughts here... better late than never.

The 2023 season, as a referee for me here in Sweden, has been underway for a while, and it's been going very well. I've let go of the incident, the assault against me as a referee, from last year and can focus on the right things again. My matches with observers have gone well, and the other matches have also felt very good.

I've noticed that as a referee, I'm increasingly fascinated by the psychological aspects. I literally love being able to have an angry or upset player on "my side" during or after a match. We don't have to agree with each other but having a respectful dialogue or exchanging a few sentences means a lot. Sometimes it requires a card, unfortunately, even before you've had a chance to do it. But often as a referee, you can prevent some cards and, above all, prevent poor communication. Being able to communicate with happy, angry, sad, or upset players or coaches is crucial as a referee. You don't always succeed, but experience and mistakes are what you learn from, right?

I refereed and worked during the Piteå Summer Games recently and had a match with a team from Norway and a team from Lithuania. I immediately noticed a player in the Norwegian team who complained and whined about almost everything. I also noticed that he was easily the best player among all 22 on the field. I caught him at halftime and said, "You're the best player here... but when you focus on the wrong things, you're not the best. In the second half, I want you to focus on the game and football."

I got a "Thanks, I'll try." And what happened in the second half? Well, he excelled. He didn't say a word to me and my referee team, he scored a goal, and they won the match. He was easily the best among the 22 players on the field! I don't take all the credit for him getting in the right mood, but I still hope that my communication with him had some influence. Another referee or a bad day at work for me could easily have given him a yellow card in the first half or not said a word during halftime. What would have happened in the second half then? We'll never know, but I can guess that he might have been close to two yellow cards and focused on the wrong things. Maybe. Who knows.

Well... remember, try different things with angry or upset players. We shouldn't always use our cards right away. We are match leaders and can try to turn a match into something good - if it doesn't work, then we resort to the laws of the game and our cards. During the summer break, I will focus on an upcoming fitness test, a regional test that I have been invited to. Exciting. Just have to eat one less ice cream during the summer and train! My body and mind feel good, just have to hold on to it.